you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
jump out the window naked night went bad
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