i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
