Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
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