Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
she peed on how many people?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
