He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
