someone threw a dead crab at me
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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