he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
