Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
