look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
