every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
3 2 1 whiskey
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
