Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
