By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
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