Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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