Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
