Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
