Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
