1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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