Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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