Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
