It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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