STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
