I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
