I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
