Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
