Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
