Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
