a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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