My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
