Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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