he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
