bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I smell like Dick and happiness
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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