its not stalking. its research.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
