Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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