So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
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