So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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