I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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