guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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