one might say we're banned from that church
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
