Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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