I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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