Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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