i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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