Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
