oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
