It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
if only i could text you this smell
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Couch. On fire.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
