Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
