Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Randomize
