do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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