Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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