Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
