Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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