im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
