READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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