I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
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I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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