just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
The uberlube is also flammable
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
