he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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