dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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