how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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