You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
