sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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