it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
