he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
