im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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