It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
