i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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