just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Do vagina's smell?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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