i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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