There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
