I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
