I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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