why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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